It’s the beginning of September, and I’m wearing a jack-o-lantern shirt. I had to resist, until now, the beckoning from the back of the closet so I wouldn’t look weird during Spring or Summer. That’s why this blog exists.

Jackolanternshirt

My name is Kat. I’m hopeless for Autumn and Halloween.

I make stuff.

I sew. I make cardboard houses. I make foam armor. I make costumes. I have fun with theatrical makeup: injuries, creepy stuff. I cook like a contestant on Cutthroat Kitchen.

I collect stuff.

Mid-century cookbooks and craft books. Cats (Salem Barfolomew Massoftwoshits, Calamity Jane, and Daenerys Stormborn: Kitten of Dragons). Random mid-century junk. Disney’s Haunted Mansion stuff. Star Wars stuff. Halloween slash/ hauntings books and magazines.

I have high-functioning Asperger’s kids who do not share my love of Halloween and all things spooky. For Halloween they’d rather dress up as a Nintendo character or a toilet (yes, I had to make that). At least the man of the house dresses the part: He oft directs funerals, so adding a top hat, some creepster makeup, and some cobwebs to his normal attire turns him into a mortician. He’ll go house-to-house with a tape measure to make sure folks are getting the right size casket.

My biggest peeve? I wear glasses (until I become a millionaire and get lasik), and wearing glasses is not conducive to proper costuming, dammit. Especially makeup and masks. Blargh. Glasses can be cute, but sometimes they ruin shit.

My second biggest peeve? Women who wear skank costumes. You know what I’m talking about. Little Red Riding Hood needs a dress longer than her vagina. And candy pumpkins don’t belong in your bra.