It’s Time to Desecrate Your Goth Garden
This is the first in a series of Goth Garden posts. To keep your goth garden amongst the living, you must commit to continual change. Plants live, plants die, and some plants come back from near death if you tend to your black thumb. I won’t pretend to know your climate and what lives and dies in your zone at various times of year… that would be up to you. But I will give you ideas to mix and match in your garden to make it spooky, eerie, or even somewhat disturbing. Some of the best ideas aren’t even plants, and will survive anything short of disaster. And that’s what we’re going to start with!
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I don’t know about you, but I’d be damned with giddiness to perch this fanged savage at my garden gate. Problem is, I don’t have a garden gate. But when I do (and I will), this is going to attract creepers and invitees alike to my twisted garden lair. He serves as a warning that chances of survival are bleak.
The Veiled Maiden Sculptural Bust
This gloomy beauty is eerily melancholy. If you have a faux (or otherwise?) cemetery included in your goth garden, the Veiled Maiden will induce feelings of dread as she welcomes your victims guests to the afterlife.
No goth garden is complete without deceased wildlife. Especially deceased wildlife that looks pissed off. This sinister trio may (we can hope) induce anxiety in that beastly little deer that keeps chowing down on your black elderberry.
Disney’s Haunted Mansion Hostess Apron
This is what I would choose to do my ghastly gardening in! Who out of their right minds wouldn’t want to cosplay as a gardening ghost host? Your neighbors will think you’ve lost your marbles, but you can respond by smothering them with kindness.
Disney’s Haunted Mansion Plaque
When hinges creak in hidden garden chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the trees… Whenever candlelights flicker where the air is deathly still… That is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight! Grim garden ghosts come out to socialize!
I shan’t leave you without an ominous flower. Blood red and solemn, this Ruby Red Moranda glooms in the summer and the fall.
Ghoulish Gardening to You, Foolish Mortals.